The Midnight Oil

My wife is in the process of applying for a graduate program for next year. Friday was the deadline, but it got extended through the weekend. Each night we have worked into the wee hours together to help refine her thoughts about the essays she is writing, and our collaboration is so smooth.

Early on in our relationship and marriage, it was not like this. The vulnerability of sharing writing and ideas was wrapped up in so many other issues, and the work was either extremely difficult or avoided. I own a lion’s share of the difficulty in these processes, and my wife owns a lion’s share of the work it has taken to get to the point where we can both share something for the other to look at and give feedback on. This is a priceless gift amongst the many she has given me.

We all have the challenges our parents handed us, and I know I have saddled my kids with plenty. I also know that I gained many great positives from my parents and that I will also give my own kids strengths and values that they will cherish. I am very happy that they can see, in my wife and my interactions, the work it takes to maintain the ability to collaborate as well as the act of collaboration. I hope this lands in their toolbox.

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