Monday, my daughter pushed on some boundaries that she has been testing more and more recently. She avoided the truth, known as telling lies, a couple of times to get what she wanted. When confronted with the truth, she then used the strategy that she has been becoming accustomed to–she completely wigs out and makes it about how unhappy she is. My wife and I are both tired of this routine and did not bend, so she had some consequences.

On the ride home from school, my daughter stated that she was tired and wanted the sofa bed pulled out so she could sleep on it during her quiet time. Earlier in the day, she had wanted to play on the bed, so I asked her if it was in fact her tiredness or that she wanted to play. She told me it was because she was tired. I let her know that if she was tired, we would put her in pajamas, turn out the lights, and not play music. She gave a non-answer and then tried to get my wife to agree to pull out the bed for her. I called her on the story and on trying to get a different answer from the two of us. It turned out that she did not want to sleep but just to play on the bed.

After a pretty exhausting day with the two kids, I was trying to wash up some dishes so that my daughter and I could have a fun project together of making banana bread. She had been eager to do this for a while, so I combined the idea with teacher appreciation which I messed up and missed. Nothing says appreciation like chocolate chip banana bread muffins made by your student, right? As I was washing old, egg-crusted dishes, I saw her lean over my son and whisper in his ear. Instantly his gentle one-finger-per-hand piano playing turned into full fisted hammering on the keyboard, and my daughter started laughing. We have regularly worked with both children to not do this for many reasons including damage to the piano, disturbance to our downstairs neighbors, and further liquidificaiton of our brains. I sent her upstairs. I then went up and yelled a bit. That will have consequences of its own. I brought her back down, removed the piano for the time being, and talked through the situation with her. Banana bread project was off for the night (though I had to do it as the bananas would not wait).

My wife and I are working on gathering out wits together and starting a new phase in our parenting. My daughter is driving us there as she continues to push these boundaries that seem extremely daunting. Avoiding the truth and leading her brother into choices that she knows are not ok are very worrisome. How we deal with it will have consequences for the whole family.

1 Comment

Filed under development, partnering

One response to “Consequences

  1. If you figure this out, please share your secret with me. I’m so tired of yelling, but the button pushing has gotten old, and their attention span is so unbelievably short.

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