Category Archives: Funny

Funny

Funny Sound

My son love funny sounds. The usual culprits of farts and burps send him into gales of laughter. Blowing over the top of a bottle sets an repeating and never-ending request cycle going. He titters, giggles, and does whole body laughs that are hard to resist.

Thursday night, he was making sound, but it wasn’t funny. He awoke from sleep, as he has been doing fairly regularly, and screamed. I finally gave up any thought of doing something downstairs after he was reset by both me and my wife. I headed upstairs to be in bed, but he kept waking up and screaming. I finally pulled him into bed with me. I try to avoid setting up that pattern because it will never end, but it seemed that this was an unusually tough night for him. I awoke to him poking me and saying, “Daddy, make funny sound with nose. Again?”

Sure, kid. No problem.

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Night’s Excitement

My family has a deep history of making the night exciting. My mom would emit the most eerie ghost sounds that were the result of screaming in her nightmares. Needless to say, it scared the bejeebers out of us kids. One memorable night, my mom and at least one of my sisters were in the hallway outside all of our bedrooms all screaming having terrified each other. My mom also would wake with a start and voice her fears. One camping trip, this led to a major part of the campground being woken up to, “Jim (my dad), there’s someone outside our tent,” uttered in a voice of pure fear and anguish.

My dad’s contribution to the family excitement is the clear and decisive pronouncement of gibberish. The words make sense. They are sentences, but they don’t hold up to the light of day. What it does is leave the poor recipient of these pearls of wisdom to stay up wondering what they meant.

One of my sisters has inherited my mom’s fear reaction, and on a trip to San Diego ended up shutting me in a room that she thought had a vicious animal. Whether it was the bear or dog that we joke about after the fact, the event itself was clear proof that these traits can be inherited.

I seem to have gotten my dad’s gift. To a former girlfriend, I once pronounce, “You are worth a million burning bushes,” and promptly fell back asleep. When confronted with this in the morning, I had no recollection nor idea what it meant.

In the midst of both of my children having nightmares on Saturday night, my daughter awoke at one point and exclaimed, “Why is there no pencil sharpener in this room?” Ah, good to know the family talents are being kept alive.

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What a Little Tree Hugger!

Maybe it was those long nature walks with frequent stops to identify birds, flowers, and trees. Maybe it was camping each summer. Maybe it was the trees in my childhood neighborhood. Whatever the reason, I have a deep appreciation for nature. This helps define who I am personally and politically. One could call me a tree hugger, and I wouldn’t refute it.

When we are out walking, my son likes to stop at each tree and give it a big hug. This would warm my heart, a blossoming tree hugger, except that he give every light pole, parking meter, and bike rack the same love.

I guess I should be proud that my son is less discriminatory than me.

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Pink Fairy Armadillo?

Last week, I chaperoned a trip with the second grade from my school to the Harvard Peabody Museum of  Archaeology and Ethnology and the Harvard Museum of Natural History. Given my aversion to both pink and Disney’s version of fairies, I was struck with how adorable in a sci-fi movie way the pink fairy armadillo is. If I created a world, it would be populated by creatures like this and even more bizarre ones. It looks like an albino mole with a topcoat of flexible plate armor.

I’d love to make a shirt with this pink fairy. I’d even support my daughter wearing one!

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The Pipe Cleaners Are Coming!

Today, my daughter did not have preschool because plumbers were working on the main sewer line in the school. My wife and I both prepped her for this, and she checked in this morning at breakfast, “Do I have school today?”

She knew the answer, but she was checking that the world and the word of her parents had some consistency and reliability.

“Do you know the answer to that question?” I asked her.

“Yes, no school,” she replied, and then to my query of why she added, “Because the pipe cleaners are coming.”

It is one of those moments of paroxysms of internal laughter, the kind that send mental milk up your nose because you are laughing so hard inside. I wouldn’t want to laugh at my daughter if I could help it, and this time I managed to hold it in.

Outside the Children's Museum, there is a food kiosk shaped like a milk bottle.

“Yes, they are coming to clean and fix the pipes. Sometimes we call them plumbers, too,” I managed to respond.

What followed was a great day with both kids. We moved at their pace, went to the Boston Children’s Museum (where there is a surprising amount of TV characters in the displays), had a picnic lunch, and made a run to the local pasta shop to replenish our supplies of frozen pasta. Throughout the day, my 1.5 year-old son did a ton of walking, though this did not lead to better napping. Everything went great until dinner and bath when cranky kids were fairly contrary. Overall, though, it was a good day, and visions of anthropomorphic pipe cleaners will be with me for days.

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Pull-ups Mader Happy

My daughter was exposed to Cars characters and especially Mader. When she moved to pull-ups for nighttime sleeping, the more eco-friendly brand just couldn’t keep up with her output, so we got big brand ones. The options are pepto pink with princesses or Cars characters. This was a no-brainer, and she loves her Mader pull-ups.

While doing the whole drying off and getting pajamas on routine after bath tonight, my daughter asked me what my car was named. I told her I didn’t know. “What is my car’s name?” I asked.

“Strollier,” was her sincere reply. “And his middle name is Jack-jumped-over-the-candle-stick.” 

My car is now Strollier Jack-jumped-over-the-candle-stick.

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Projectile Desitin

Early morning change. Air bubble in Desitin tube. POP! Out shot a nicely measured wad of stinky white stuff. Unfortunately it landed far from anywhere useful.

 

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