What is important?

In the last few weeks, intensity at work has elevated, both kids are in less fun patterns of behavior, and I have managed to get a nasty cold from school. It is at times like this that the really important things in life become clear because they are the only things one can actually accomplish.

Breathing, eating, sleeping. I get to those with regularity, though with probably not enough intentionality to truly benefit. Parenting is built in to the day, as well. I continue, though again not with the care and thoughtfulness that would consistently lead to good parenting.

Communicating with my wife, especially as the school year ends and much is on our collective plate, happily is still happening with the caveats mentioned above.

And I am keeping up this blog. Probably not my best writing, probably not uncovering any real gems, but I am sticking to it. Just in the drive to get up off the couch and get my body in front of the computer, I know this is important to me. It makes me happy that my goal of holding myself accountable for being at least somewhat reflective about my parenting is still holding up when I have dropped many other things.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Thursday, the bell tolled for Harvard graduation, and the oldest class in my daughter’s preschool did the tolling. When I arrived to pick her up, her stories of the day were filled with her understanding of the event. Interestingly, the rational for graduating was to make space for new students and that graduates were finished with school for ever. “For ever and ever.”

As we passed the Radcliff Quad, a great, white tent was visible and a shout of celebration erupted from within. My daughter asked why people were shouting, and I told her they were very happy to have worked hard and finished this part of their school.

I hope this day, and the repetitions of it in many forms, helps build her own desire to graduate college. What is sure, though, is that she will be very excited to be the one pulling the bell’s rope next year.

An Infestation of Children

Wednesday, I hurried home from school in order to be there when a member of our new baby sitting co-op dropped off her infant for an hour of care. Our nanny share was still happening at that time, and my daughter was home from school. This meant that there were four children from ages 9 months to 4 years and two adults for a while. Soon, however, there were three and then four adults. It was a lot more crowded than we normally are in the late afternoon, but the kids were great with it. In fact, I think it was a bit of a distraction from the normal routine. By 6:00, however, we were back down to two kids and two adults and the dinner/bath/bed routine.

Her Tomato Soup?

Tuesday I sat in the evening spooning Campbell’s Tomato Soup with cubes of cheddar into my mouth. The cumulative lack of sleep plus a very trying day previously tipped me over the edge, and all day I felt the sore throat coming on. I sneaked upstairs when I got home to rest, and when my children came up with my wife for bath time, I got to hug them, share a really positive moment, and then head downstairs. I am on the next two nights, so a reprieve was in order. Plus I was sick.

I wanted my comfort food. I even walked to the grocery store to get it. I know Campbell’s is not the healthiest choice. It comes in plastic coated containers, it has lots of salt. Every time someone opens a container, an environmental fairy dies, but from my early childhood, this is what I eat when I don’t feel well. My archetype for what comfort food was set, and when the chips are down, that is where I return.

I already know one of my daughter’s similar comfort items. I have no idea how it will play out, but I am sure it will feature somehow. One time when she was sick, she was allowed to watch a movie on TV. This is a very rare occurrence; she gets almost no screen time in our house. We chose Microcosmos, a feature that shows bugs going about their daily lives with no narration. She took to the movie instantly, and now whenever she is ill, she asks for the bug movie. I love it because it is not overly dramatized, and it has no commentary to influence her (except for a musical soundtrack).

What other things that we do as a family are going to be the cornerstones of her future, and how will they overlap with my son’s? I am sure there will be plenty of unintentional pieces added, but I hope the regular interactions with exercise, gardening, reading, and other things I value will also feature in her constructed world.

Mad, Mad Monday

Things fall apart, and my center did not hold on Monday. Between my son screeching and slamming any gate, door, or drawer he could get his hands on and my daughter whining and “Wanting” everything, it was not one of those golden, loving days together. It was one to just get through without totally losing it. Maybe the 50th time my son looked at me and slammed whatever hard object he picked up down on the wood floor I let a little piece of my brain explode.

It is during these times that I get a chance to work on who I am under stress. When pushed over the edge of sanity, there is a person waiting there who rarely gets direct attention. That person carries all of my childhood baggage, that person has anger, that person is not necessarily nice, and that person is me. It is these times, and rearing children provides many, that I face myself in a stark, unflattering way and have to deal with what I see. Unfortunately, my children don’t quietly fade into the background while I grapple with this; they keep right on doing whatever it was that put me there.

Monday, my children gave me ample opportunity to work on this part of myself, and all I wanted to do by the end of the day was crawl into a cave full of soda and baked goods and sci-fi TV shows. It was probably a good thing my wife was not home otherwise I would have eaten my body-weight in doughnuts.

A Workshop Away

Two projects from this weekend’s workshop

Last weekend, I had the great fortune of attending a workshop at the High-Low Tech Group at MIT. The focus was sewable circuits and combining the LilyPad Arduino chip with an accelerometer to control an object on a computer. In Technological Ontogeny, I wrote two posts (first, second) about the experience.

I can’t wait to get my kids into programming and building. Last year, I saw a presentation by Marina Bers from the Tufts University DevTech Research Group. Among many other wonderful resources, she shared a tangible programming tool. Using blocks with printed icons that then are translated into programs by taking a picture of the blocks and importing that into a program which reads the programming information from the image.

Of the many thoughts I have from this weekend’s experience, two stand out right now. My daughter is already old enough to start playing with some of these programming tools, and I have to continue to connect with these groups and people in order to continue growing my own skill set and to broaden my network of people who are engaged in this work. I also reconfirmed that I need space to decompress from parenting, and this type of activity is perfect for me.

Pink Fairy Armadillo?

Last week, I chaperoned a trip with the second grade from my school to the Harvard Peabody Museum of  Archaeology and Ethnology and the Harvard Museum of Natural History. Given my aversion to both pink and Disney’s version of fairies, I was struck with how adorable in a sci-fi movie way the pink fairy armadillo is. If I created a world, it would be populated by creatures like this and even more bizarre ones. It looks like an albino mole with a topcoat of flexible plate armor.

I’d love to make a shirt with this pink fairy. I’d even support my daughter wearing one!